Managing stress at work: 4 things I learnt from a healthy conversation

Do you ever hear your inbox ding and as the message appears in the bottom right of your screen, you think ‘Oh FFS!’? Do you find yourself abnormally angry over the tiniest of detail? Do you let that anger spill out of work hours as you bitch and complain about it? Well I do #guilty. These are all signs that I’ve let stress and anxiety get on top of me and it’s time to sort it out. Fortunately, workplaces are recognising this and recently I attended a ‘Healthy Conversations’ event. No guest speaker, no PowerPoint just people in an open honest environment to discuss their experiences with stress. I found the session super useful and it was the brain reboot I needed to approach my work-life differently. Here’s my key takeaways…

1. Treat others how you wanted to be treated.When you work in a political environment where stress breeds stress, it can be easy to get sucked into that. Meetings are combative and it can feel like the Hunger Games as to who will get the final say. Not only is this counterproductive but it also means you’re not thinking of people as humans beings but as rivals. What made me rethink my stress induced behaviour was to think that I might be the one causing stress for someone else. You have no idea what the recipient of the stroppy email is going through, they’re a human too. We all have our own shit going on. Rather than fuel the fire, I’m trying to take a more logical than emotional response.
2. Get some perspective. Take time away from what is stressing you out to gain a fresh outlook on the situation. Savour the happy moments whether it be messaging an old friend, going for a walk or watching the making of GOT Season 8 for the 5th time (#guilty again). Something I’ve done before is go on charity days where I’ve worked with people dealing with various struggles. It’s really rewarding and as well as a distraction from work, it makes you realise what life is all about (spoiler alert: it’s not about that big review with the client!). I haven’t done one in a while and I think it’s time.
3. Gratitude. When you’re stressed it can seem like the world is against you. What I do in my personal life is write down things I’m thankful for to make me remember that life is good. I think this could be extended into work life where you not only celebrate success more, but also appreciate the intangible things that are making work a better experience. Examples like ‘I like seeing the work we do have an impact’ or ‘I like how this person is supporting me’, could encourage more positive attitudes.
4. Focus on the moment. Being prone to stress can often mean you’re prone to worrying and overthinking and freaking out. One good tip I learnt is to only think about the next 20 minutes. Take each task one at a time and de-clutter your brain of future or past worries.It’s hard to focus on the task at hand when you’re worrying about what could happen or might happen or probably won’t ever happen. A really good book for gaining clarity and staying productive when you’re overwhelmed is Sarah Knights’ aptly titled ‘Calm the F*ck Down’.

Remember, you will never completely eradicate stress. There will always be an optimum level that keeps you working hard but doesn’t tip you over the edge. That’s why all self-help content is about managing stress and not about living without it. Stress is a good thing, it means you care! But don’t care too much that you lose sight of what’s important.